Thursday, February 24, 2011

Second crappiest foster parent moment ever?

Answering, "I am sorry honey, I don't know" to Brooklyn asking SIX times "Where she at?" as we waited outside her mom's apartment for the visit she missed.

No one has heard from her since before our vacation, and she cancelled the last visit we had before we left. Apparently she is going to manage mess this up.

Friday, February 04, 2011

Hmm...

Thought I should check in and let you know that we are all, in fact, still alive. Here are some drive by updates on my girlies:

Lily - Will be FOUR in March - how f'ing crazy is that? I am continually amazed at her processing, and the things she asks and wants to talk about, but I've told you that before. Conversations with Lily as of late have centered around not wanting Brooklyn to go home, Disney World (where we're going NEXT WEEK!!), and anxiety about school - one of her teachers left unexpectedly in the middle of the year and I made the mistake of mentioning that she would get a new classroom next year, which OMG, the sky is falling, and she doesn't want to change classrooms, and she doesn't want to go to school, and oh by the way (direct quote) "I want to stay 3." Well, ok then.

She has also been talking about skating with Aunt R., which I'm told did not go as well the second time as the first, but which she still seems pretty stoked about. And, finally, she got her video from her preschool Christmas program. I dropped her off at school yesterday, and kept it in my car. She was apparently pretty perturbed that PB wouldn't bring her to my work to get it. The SECOND I was home, we had to watch it. Before starting, she said "This is going to be so awesome." After watching, she said, "I loved that movie." The child is seriously buying her own press. I'm glad she can't read my blog (yet).

Lucy is her adorable, (mostly) laid back self. She will be THREE in March (see my comment above). This morning she said that she can't wait to grow up so she can use big people words. She then paused, looked at PB, and said "Like you", slowly swiveled her adorable little head to me, and said, "and you." The last thing I told Lucy that I couldn't believe came out of my mouth was, "Lucy, you CANNOT call your sister a beef penis." Yes, she did and yes, I did.

She also is convinced that all comments / corrections are yelling. She would not get into her chair for dinner one night this week. And I said, "Sweetie, you need to get into your chair." Really, that's exactly what I said. She turned around, gave me an AWESOME glare and screamed, "STOP.YELLING.AT.ME." She's not sure about going to preschool next year. She said she's rather "stay home and hang out with Papa." Fair enough.

Brooklyn is still with us. Her mom just started unsupervised visits last week, which seemed to be going well enough. Our only hitch is that now that there are no social workers around she seems to live in silk pajamas. A bit awkward for PB, that. Brooklyn's rate of catching up seems to have leveled off, and her preschool teachers are happy with her progress, which is good. She is coming with us to Disney, and I think that if her mom keeps it together, she'll go home no later than early June. We'll see. Her mom has been working very hard and deserves this chance. I just hope that it will be OK.Recently Brooklyn told me that she wants to live with Mama M (her mom's first name) which I think is a very good sign, even if she doesn't really get what that means. She is also coming to us with Disney - her mom said we could take her even if she went home by then, which was really nice, I think.

I am also struggling with how to most easily talk to my kids about this and get everyone ready. So far it's been pretty matter-of-fact, and neither of the girls is happy at the thought of Brooklyn leaving. I am ambivalent. She's been here for so long, but she's always felt like what she is - someone else's child. I think that's been more obvious with her because her mom has been so involved for so much of the time she's been here. Anyway,aside from how Brooklyn and her mom will fare, the second biggest worry is how I keep my kids (especially Lily, who like me, overthinks EVERYTHING) from thinking they might have to go live somewhere else someday, too. I think this is unique to having adopted and foster kids, and would love to hear any advice you've got.

Phew, I think that's it for now. What's up in your corner of the world these days?