Friday, May 14, 2010

So the visits...

are not going well. At all.

Brooklyn wants pretty much nothing to do with her mom. This is heartbreaking on a number of fronts. It's hard to leave her there when we she is screaming bloody murder (and in one instance banging on the windows) as we leave.

It sucks for her mom who is hurt and frustrated. She has cried her way through many of the visits, and Brooklyn just doesn't seem to be softening toward her.

I don't know how long this will take. We've only had two weeks or so, but they are 2 hours 2 per week so it's a (relatively) large amount of time (as visits go). Brooklyn seems to be as upset each time we leave her and seems to be very upset throughout most of the visit. According to all reports, she is not calming down during the visit - I mean, she doesn't scream throughout them, but she does pretty much constantly cry and / or avoid her mom altogether by sitting in a corner by herself.

And, of course, it sucks for Brooklyn. I don't think she was much bonded to her mom to begin with. Her reception to Mom actually got much better over time when she was visiting before, I think, because they were having positive interactions for the first time in a long time. But I think the original poor bonding combined with this long absence has really f*ed up the relationship.

Grrr. So frustrating. I just keep trying to tell myself it's a temporary transition, but Brooklyn is so vehement in her opposition to her mom. Here's hoping she will warm up sooner rather than later.

2 comments:

JUST A MOM said...

is the plan to return to parent?? WOW this couldt take a while... adn WHY woudl they after so logn of a time start out with 2 hours 2 times a week.. seems rather FAST for her. good luck

MyLinda said...

We went through the same thing with our now adopted daughter. She came to us at 4 mos. old and started visits when she was 14 mos. old. She was forced to go on visits for a year where she would scream and cry the entire time unless I was allowed to attend the visits. She would never have anything to do with birth mom (she would ignore her and push her away)and it never got better...there just wasn't a bond there.

It's the hardest thing to watch a child go through!