Tuesday, January 26, 2010

7 weeks and counting...

Warning: If you are still in the throes of wanting desperately to adopt from foster care (like I was, oh, a year ago), this post might piss you off.

So, it's been 7 weeks since Brooklyn's mom has been in touch. I'm so sad for her. And so scared for us, and the decision that we could / might / may / probably will have to make about her long term future.

Don't get me wrong, we love her to do death and if there were no other factors to consider but her, we would be more than happy to adopt her. But there are external constraints now. Like my other two daughters, and the prospect of raising three children (three GIRL children) that are less than 15 months apart. Logistically this will get easier with time. All three are walking and 1.5 kids are out of diapers which has made a big difference. But in the long term, I just keep thinking how EXPENSIVE it will be - to have three girls who all need prom dresses or three college tuition bills... the list goes on and on.

And I also wonder about having Lucy and Brooklyn in the same grade at school. That seems weird, since they're not twins. Oh yeah, and the fact that we wanted to foster for a while before adopting again, which probably, realistically, won't be possible because I don't think we'd want to try four for a long, long time. I don't know.

Anyway, that's what my head has been spinning around lately. Any of you out there have kids who are very close in age and have any thoughts?


MyLinda said...

I can relate although we're doing it intentionally, sort of. Right now we have two daughters (13, bio and 5, adopted - from foster).

We are currently updating our homestudy and have found a sibling group that are THREE more GIRLS (2,3,4) that we are looking into. Somedays I think I have completely lost my mind! And just about hyperventilate thinking about the logistics of the future but I have accepted that if this is HIS plan then I better get over myself :-)

As far as the school thing goes, I think I would definately have them put into seperate classes.

Good luck with your decision!

Lula said...

My oldest 3 are all within 23 months of age, and the younger two of those are 6 weeks apart in age. They are in the same grade (and same class, tiny school, only one class per grade) and actually look enough alike that they really could be twins. It's fine. It is just how our family is. It doesn't seem like a big deal. Sure, they'll be expenses that come up, but the more expensive stuff (like prom dresses) will be when they are old enough to help pay. I don't find that I worry about that much. It will work out :)

ktdid said...

My daughter (who is adopted) was 14 months older than our foster son BUT they were the same size and very competitive with one another. He was with us for 9 months when we found out that it would "be a while" until mom would be getting him back. There were some major behavioral issues going on with him and with both kids, mainly our daughter was his physical victim. we made a heart wrenching decision to ask for him to be moved. We were not an adoptive resource and not the right fit. He now lives with an awesome family who love him to death and they have a 9 year old son who is great for him.

Anonymous said...

Consider this. If they are all within 15 months they will all be in the same activities. Drive once to dance. Drive once to religion class. Drive once to xyz.

Mine are 7 years apart. Both have to be taken to everything. Both are bored waiting for the other. Many nights I drop one off, drop the other off, pick up one, pick up the other.

Everyone in the same age range sounds heavenly to me.

JUST A MOM said...

I have 5 GIRLS,,,,, YES 5 IT IS NOT ALL THAT BAD really but hope you can have ease with doing what is right for you. It is a BIG desion,,,,,, :)