I'm leaving on a jetplane

Bags are packed but not so sure I'm ready to go... it's hard to leave Lily for much time these days - she's aware that you're leaving and talks about you leaving and misses you when you're gone. Tonight, when I gave her an extra long hug before bed and told her that Mama was going bye bye for a few days tomorrow, she asked to go with me. Repeatedly. There's some mommy guilt for you.

The upside is that she will be fine. She might miss me and she might ask about me, but she'll be fine.

The other thing is I have to be at the airport at an ungodly, inhuman hour. And I can't really even bitch about it, because I made the travel reservations myself.

Q & A Part 2

From Rebecca:

1) What is the one thing about being a parent that you never expected to be so great/fulfilling/wonderful,etc?

Honestly, there was part of me that sometimes wondered if any of it would be great, fulfilling, wonderful, etc. I had some *serious* doubts about whether or not I would be any good at this and if I would like it. I don't know about the good at part, but I am amazed at how much I really enjoy being a mom, especially how much I love the little things - watching them sleep, taking them to the park, etc.

I am also surprised at how much fun it has been to watch PB become, probably, the best father I've ever met. Don't get me wrong, I always knew he would be good at it, which is why even when I wasn't sure if we wanted to have kids, I always knew it would be OK. And I expected to learn a little about him in the process. But I didn't expect, after all those years together, that I'd see a completely different (and amazing!) side of him.


2) What is the one thing about being a parent that didn't expect to be irritating/hard/difficult, etc.?

I didn't expect it to be so damned hard to raise a kid who is crazy advanced. I was always afraid of what I'd do if I had a child who had delays, since patience is NOT my strong suit. I never thought about how hard it could be to deal with a two year old who speaks in 5 word sentences. I can't wait for her to be reasonable... if that ever happens.

And also? How crazy and far reaching the mommy wars are. I am amazed by the extent to which women, especially privelaged women, invest themselves in being a mom so much that they begin to compete and judge one another to be crowned best mom. And to actually answer your question, I am amazed at how irritating dealing with that can be, especially since I really have contacted with a limited number of other moms IRL.