Friday, November 20, 2009

Update on Brooklyn

So for anyone who was curious, here's where we stand.

Brooklyn is doing *really* well. She just started walking earlier this week(Monday to be exact) - still a little shaky, but we've seen pretty rapid improvements in muscle tone which is what I think is allowing her to even try to walk - her arms and legs were really weak, but she's starting to bulk up - in more ways that one. She's gained another pound, and eats like a champ.

Thankfully, she has settled in nicely - she goes to everyone in our family now, and really doesn't even have a preference for me at this point. She and Lily get along pretty well, and she and Lucy still butt heads - a combination of jealousy because they are so close to the same age and differing needs for physical space (Lucy = none and Brooklyn = lots).

We're not seeing much in the language department - still no really recognizable words on a consistent basis, though she babbles a lot. She says no, but it doesn't mean no. And she doesn't say mama or dada either. This is my biggest area of concern for her - our Help.Me.Grow coordinator will be out today so maybe they will have some suggestions.

I might be overreacting too, because my girls were both EARLY talkers. Lucy, who is exactly four months older than her is already using SENTENCES, so that makes me more nervous for Brooklyn. I think she might still technically be just below the low range for normal, and she's definitely more interested in communicating now, which is good.

Brooklyn's mom is hit or miss. She didn't show up (or call) for yesterday's visit, despite the fact that it's been pushed back a 1/2 hour later in the morning and that we have court on Monday. The worker will be filing for TCC, which means (as we suspected) she will likely be staying around for a while.

I really go back and forth on this case. Brooklyn was clearly being neglected - not severely enough that she won't recover, but badly enough that she needed medical treatment. But to talk to her mom, it seems like she really loves her and wants to get her back. Which is inconsistent in its own right, since it doesn't seem like there's anything wrong with Mom that would explain the condition Brooklyn was in. And, she almost never manages to make it to her visit on time... She's been so late (i.e. more than 15 minutes) that we left twice now - well, actually three times but the people at the visit center called us 10 minutes before the visit time ended to bring her back on one memorable night. She was so late that PB had Brooklyn in the car and leaving another time, and I waited 45 minutes for her boyfriend to get there for one visit. Now yesterday, it's a no-call, no show? What's up with that?

I would crawl through glass to see my kids if I was getting a total of four hours a week with them. But the missing the visits isn't even my biggest issue. It's that NOTHING is EVER her fault. The bus took her to the wrong place, or the taxi didn't come when it was scheduled, etc, etc ad infinitum. This is the first parent I've had who hasn't been willing to take ANY responsibility (either for the situation that got their kid into care or for their own behavior during the case). And I think it's harder too, because she's not young - she's old enough to know better, and still acting like a 12-year-old.

So in short, I am working on finding empathy. I am loving the hell out of Brooklyn, and doing everything I can to get services in place so someone is tracking her when she goes home.

And I am in complete denial that Christmas is already almost upon us.


JUST A MOM said...

hang in there remember ups and down suck,,, enjoy them all to the fullest have a great Thanksgiving!

Deborah said...

I actually thought of you today (before I read this message). I was waiting for the subway, and a woman was sitting in the station swearing loudly about the subway being late. It was annoying. Then we got on the subway, and she got on her cell phone to someone saying she was going to miss her train, and could the person please call the foster parents to reschedule the visit? I felt bad for her (she was clearly upset, and she was taking a long trip on a poor public transportation system), but I also wondered why she didn't leave home earlier. It made me think about your previous posts about visitation and how it always seems to end up a hassle.