Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Look Ma, I'm blogging

Turns out when we have a foster child I have things to blog about. To whit:

Still no visit from Brooklyn's worker. Our worker came out within the requisite three days, but we're well past a week now with no word from hers

How can 3 girls have SO.MANY.APPTS? Really? This week, we've got OT, follow up med for Brooklyn, Help Me Grow for Brooklyn and at least one, maybe two visits for Brooklyn. Well, wait, I guess it's just foster children who have a ton of appts, huh? Poor Brooklyn, I'm sure she is tired of being examined.

Am torn about Brooklyn's mom. She called to check on Brooklyn last night and we had a really good phone conversation. She definitely loves her daughter with a ferocity that matches my feelings for my girls. She says that everything in the report was blown out of proportion, which I actually can kind of see. Basically, everything that she's telling me dovetails with the sketchy information I have. If she's telling the truth, this will be a short(er) case. But I think there will still be medical neglect to deal with, and I'm not sure how long that takes to resolve. I do think she feels comfortable with us caring for Brooklyn (as she put it, she doesn't want her anywhere but with her, but if she has to be somewhere she is glad that it's with us), and I'm really happy about that.

So I don't know. If she is lying, she's the best liar I've ever encountered. But if she's telling the truth, I don't understand why they didn't put services in place rather than removing. And the worker who I spoke with painted a much different picture of mom's state the night I picked her up.

I think the first couple of screenings mom does will shed light on the matter. Right now it's too soon to know.

PS - No lice right now!!! YAY!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

First Visit

One visit down. Brooklyn's mom seemed very happy to see her and was very emotional.

Brooklyn went to her mom easily. She wasn't happy to see her, exactly, but she definitely wasn't afraid of her, which is good. At the end of the visit, she came back to me easily, which is also good, if we're going to have her for a while.

Too early to know what's going on, really. Mom was pleasant and I assured her that we were taking good care of Brooklyn. I know that doesn't make things better or easier for Mom, but I hope that at least she won't worry about what kind of people we are, specifically.

At the end of the visit Brooklyn had lice. AWESOME! Lily and Lucy didn't have them yet, and Brooklyn didn't have them at intake so I suspect they came from the visit room. I HATE the facilities where they do visits - they're gross.

Brooklyn seemed to settle in more this weekend. She is much more open to other people holding her and seems to have realized that we will be nice to her. I still hate that she came into care at this age, but hopefully with enough consistency she will start to trust us.

No word yet from Brooklyn's c/w. Was supposed to set up a time to come out Thursday and Friday, but couldn't swing it. Left a msg Friday saying she wanted to come out today. I left her a vm this morning with my work number to call, and have heard nothing. Shocker.

Friday, September 18, 2009


Brooklyn is doing... OK. Not surprisingly she is having severe separation anxiety and seems to have imprinted on me. I don't know if it's because I picked her up from Intake or what. But if I am in the house and I leave her sight, the poor thing screams. I am holding her as much as humanly possible because I think she just needs the reassurance. Plus, I have to admit that it's secretly refreshing to have one of the kids in our house prefer me - Lucy and Lily are complete daddy's girls.

Her reaction is, I think, a combination of two factors. First, she is at a terrible age for placement. Being removed is traumatic at any age, but she is old enough to know she's been removed from everything that was familiar to her and not old enough to have any idea what's going on.

Second, I think she has some attachment issues. She relates to me as a classically insecurely attached infant would - she is very upset when I'm gone, and when I return she's actually angry with me - looks the other way and does not engage for a few seconds. She wants to be held, but not necessarily snuggled, if that makes sense, and what little I know about her case so far smacks of pretty extreme neglect, including incontrovertible physical evidence of this neglect that I've seen with my own eyes. Lest you think I not be approaching this case with an open mind, or putting too much faith in social workers :-)

We have our first visit with Brooklyn's mom tonight - our county is piloting a program with all kids 0 - 3 where visits start much more quickly and are organized at the intake level. Additionally, at the first visit, foster parents and bio parents actually... gasp... are introduced and exchange information about the child in care. Both of these are very, very good things and I am pleased to report that the c/w is also doing the supervision outside of normal business hours so PB and I don't have to take time off to be there.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Here we go again

On Sunday night at 10:30, we got our first placement call in just a little over 2 years - since Lily came to us.

I am a placement call sucker, so despite the fact that we have two daughters 2 1/2 and under (both of whom are still in diapers) we are now the proud foster parents of a 14-month old girl, whose blog name will be Brooklyn.

She is flippin' adorable people, and she looks enough like my Lucy that she could be her sister.

Even though this is *so* NOT the direction I want this case to go. And by that I mean permanency with me. From the little information I've heard so far though, permanency with someone other than her biomom definitely sounds like a good idea.

The details:

14 months, 4 months (to the day!) younger than Lucy
Does not walk or talk yet
Can shakily pull to stand
Just under 18lbs (so tiny!)
Seems to have not been to a doctor since January (when she would have been 6 mos)
Older brother in care with an aunt, who was called to take Brooklyn but said sibling is too high needs
My first trip to intake at 11:30 at night - I think that officially makes me a veteran

Thursday, September 03, 2009

What I love right this minute

The way that Lucy says "OUCH", indignantly, whenever the slightest thing touches her, kisses included.

The way Lucy says "mama hit me" or "papa hit me" or "puppy hit me" whenever any person or animal touches her (again kisses included).

The way Lucy bounces, and skips and hops when she hears music. She can't not dance, people.

The way Lucy says "I no can't find it" or "I no can't see it".

The way Lily's first reaction is automatically no, even when she means yes - I know it's a phase, but it's so cute to see her do it the same way Lily did she she was little.

The way Lily smiles. She's so cheerful and adorable, that kid.

The way Lily peeks into our bedroom, opening the door just a crack, after she's supposed to be in bed for the night.

The way Lily said, last week, after aforementioned peeking, "Wathca doin' in there, guys?" and, for the record, we were watching TV :-)

The way I taught Lily to say "bring it on" last night. And she extended it to "Bring it on, kiddos"

The way Lily wants to drive our car, and tries to put a key (any key) into the ignition.

The way Lily takes great delight in hiding under blankets

The face Lily makes when she is pretending to be mad (which I think is the same one I make when I am pretending to be mad)