Sunday, April 27, 2008

I think this gets its own label

Ewww... take your shoe out of the toilet, please.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Lucy update

Well, despite our ongoing quest to find the right formula, Lucy is doing well. The public health nurse who visited today weighed her at 8lbs, 4oz. Also, she actually smiles now, in response to PB or my (and sometimes my sister's) voice. She's been doing that for about a week or so.

Is it wrong that I am secretly happy that she doesn't smile at J. (our nanny) or my parents? I think it is.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

How people get to my blog

Recently I was inspired by some commenters who delurked (HI!, by the way) to look at my stat counter for this site. I love the google search feature. Some of the searches totally make sense:
  • Maybe I'm Psychic
  • Psychic blogspot
Others I can see:
  • cloth diaper pretreater
  • parents of foster child harassing foster parents in ohio
Some just crack me up:
  • i think im psychic, is there a way to control it? My answer... um... Maybe? (ba dum dum)
  • are ohio foster parents picked from a list? My answer... um... WTF? And not that I know of.
  • psychic craigslist - yes my services are for sale or trade
And one just made me sad:
  • will i ever get ride of broken heart
Really? Am I that much of a buzzkill that g.oogle finds me when searching for this phrase? Man, I'm amazed you still visit!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

So, are you crazy yet?

I get this question (or some variant) a lot. People want to know what it's like going from 1 baby to 2 babies. We also get A LOT of strange looks when we are out and about with both babes. I'm sure the fact that Lily looks like she's 9 months old, instead of 13, doesn't help anything. I'm amazed at how often strangers will just flat out ask us how old they are, and respond with something like "Wow" or "Oh My God". It's funny.

So far, having two has not been bad at all. Of course, that's because Lucy can't move yet and pretty much stays wherever I put her. I'm sure if you check in again in about 6 months, I'll be singing a different tune.

The one exception of course, is the Mommy Guilt - that famed creature that I laughingly thought I had escaped. I mean, really, I do work full time and I do take weekends away from my kids with my husband. I don't co-sleep (at least not intentionally) and I don't breastfeed. All those areas that should make me feel guilty... well, really haven't bothered me all that much.

But now? With two kids to split my attention between? I feel badly whenever Lily has to wait because Lucy only cries when it's something essential - like eating - which means that her needs often take precedence in the moment.

I feel badly when Lucy sits in the swing or the bouncer (or on the couch... or on the bed... or even, gasp, the floor...) because she will stay where I put her and I have to stop Lily from climbing onto the table.

I feel like Lucy is missing all that two-on-one focused attention that Lily got it, and that Lily is probably even worse off since she knows what it was like to have her all to ourselves. Sometimes, I think I even miss Lily, miss just being able to rush home and grab her and play with her. How freaking bizarre is that?

In the end, it's a great issue to have, don't get me wrong. I'm certainly not complaining. It was just an unusual reaction that I didn't expect to have. So, of course, you get to hear all about it.

Monday, April 21, 2008

A letter to our daughter

Dear Lucy,

We love you very much and appreciate the fact that you are now more alert and want to look at things. Really.

One small request - could your 90-minute period of happy alert time NOT happen at 3:00 in the morning right after your 2:30 feeding?

Thanks much,

The Parents

Friday, April 18, 2008

I heart my commenters

OK. You guys all seriously rock. I am amazed at the level of support I've found through reading other people's blogs and writing my own. Someone recently left an anonymous comment on my "Lily's Checkup" post that I really wanted to thank you for. Since you posted anonymously, which is is fine with me, I had to do it here :-)

Anyway. I've also got a couple of questions regarding abbreviations recently. So I'm going to put a list of the ones I used most commonly:

  • cw or cw - caseworker. Usually if there is drama involved I am referring to the child's caseworker, because our cw is teh awesome.
  • TOC - Temporary Order of the Court. This is usually a 30-day order, issued after an emergency removal order (that's a three day order which allows a child to be removed while CPS investigates. The TCC basically gives the county some time to decide how they want to proceed with the case. Both Baby Bear and Bebe were only under TOC
  • TCC - a more longstanding order, called Temporary Court Commitment. This is usually good for 6 months or a year. Lily is currently under a 12-month TCC. Generally, this is used when the County know that the bios will need to work a caseplan, but expect reunification.
  • PCC - Permanent Court Commitment. My understanding of this is that it is exactly what it sounds like - the child is permanently removed from their parents' custody. This is when they start planning for adoption. Or I guess sometimes for older kids, a PPLA (Planned Permanent Living Arrangement)
  • TPR - Termination of Parental Rights - This happens after PCC and usually involves a trial, I think. It is also pretty much exactly what it sounds like
  • PGM/P- Paternal Grandma, Paternal Grandpa
  • MGM/P - Maternal Grandma, Maternal Grandpa
  • TTC - Trying to conceive
  • CD - Cycle Day (although this also is Cloth Diapering, which we do... but I'm pretty sure the context will make it pretty clear); and last but certainly not least
  • PB - Pete Best (AKA The Fifth Beetle): My blog name for my husband, who is a hippie born 30 years too late.
Does that clear everything up? If there are any I left out, let me know.

Warning to all Ohio foster parents

According to a link from the Columbus Dispatch and a reporter from the Cincinnati Enquirer, your name and address is about to become public record:

State court orders release of foster-parent records
Friday, April 18, 2008 5:35 AM
THE CINCINNATI ENQUIRER
Names and addresses of foster-care parents, sought by The Cincinnati Enquirer after the August 2006 murder of 3-year-old Marcus Fiesel, must be released, a unanimous Ohio Supreme Court ruled yesterday.

The ruling came despite a state law passed in February that will bar public access to foster-home details. However, that law doesn't take effect until May 14.

Awesome!

PB and I are lucky enough to not have to worry about the ramifications of this decision. All of the bioparents we have worked with (past and present) seemed like OK people and we were never afraid for them to find out where we lived once we got to know them. We still have a listed phone number, in fact.

However, some people aren't that lucky. Some biological parents are (rightly or wrongly) very upset at the system and often displace that anger onto foster parents. Those people are now in danger.

Even if no danger is involved in the situation, the decision to disclose my address or not, ought to be mine and mine alone.

Thoughts?



Wednesday, April 16, 2008

You know it sounded too easy, right?

The c/w called today and they are NOT filing for PCC in June. The attorneys at the country don't feel like they have a strong enough case so they want to get an extension to December.

Yee-ha.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Lily's checkup

Lily had her one year well baby check today. She is small for her age, but her weight is exactly proportionate for her height... hmmm.... I sense a theme here. She weighted in at 18lbs, 4oz and is 27 1/4 inches long.

She is doing amazingly well. The doctor was very impressed by the size of her vocabulary and how well she is walking. She actually said that Lily looks "fantastic" and developmentally is way ahead.

Lily's birthday party went well. She was inundated with far too many gifts and she ate *a lot* of cake... I think a good time was had by all.

Lucy is also doing well - she has picked up the pace when it comes to eating and is getting her puffy squirrel cheeks back. She is still kind of fussy, not in a shrill, unhappy way, but more in a mildly displeased, life is not perfect kind of way. When she was at the doctor last Wedneday, she weight 7lbs 4.5 ozs, so she's made it quite a bit past her birth weight. I also could swear she smiles when she hears our voices... though I am pretty sure it's much too early for that.

Unless she's going to be a child prodigy like her big sister.... which high stress, childhood ruining activity should I get them started in?

Friday, April 11, 2008

i hesitate to send this out the internets

but we might have got a very surprising and very positive call from Lily's caseworker.

he might have scared the ever livin' shit out of me by first asking about Lucy and when we got her and how we didn't mention it when he came to our house recently.

but then he might have said that they were planning to file for pcc in June and that PGM might be leaning towards letting us keep lily.

maybe.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

One Year Ago

Lily came to live with us on April 9, 2007. In some ways it's hard to believe we've had her for a year, in other ways it feels like she's always been with us.

During the past year, we've been there for all the big stuff - rolling over, sitting up, crawling, eating, now walking. And that was really cool - seeing all those milestones.

But we've also been there for the little stuff and the little things are some of my favorites. I love how Lily rubs the satin on her blanket and says, "Ahhhhhhhh" while looking at me to make sure I see her rubbing the satin. I love how she bounces and claps when she hears music with a good beat. I love how she delights in splashing water in the tub and how she does everything with enthusiasm - she lunges after balls, grabs her cup and shoves it into her mouth with a flair, she even goes to sleep with drama - flinging herself down onto the crib with an enormous sigh.
She yells everything, and tries to run everywhere.

She is, quiet simply, an amazing baby. She is beautiful, smart, crazy loud and funny as hell. You know, just like her foster mom. Well, at least the crazy loud part :-)

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Lucky

I pretty much walked around feeling incredibly lucky this weekend. We took the girls to get their pictures done on Saturday morning, then just played (even outside!) all day. On Sunday, my folks brought my grandma over to see the girls, and we had lunch and got ice cream. It was almost a perfect weekend - if it had culminated in a low key bbq with some friends, by the pool, well I might have died from sheer happiness.

Lucy was given the all clear by the doctor on Friday - she is back up to her birthweight (7lbs) and he told us to "stop worrying about how much she's eating". On Saturday, she finally started to actually act like she was hungry when it was time to eat, instead of accepting small amounts that we kind of forced her to take, as she had been previously. We also got an amazing picture if what I'm counting as her first "smile" even though I know it was completely unintentional.

Lily is trying to cut four (four!) teeth at the same time, which makes her pretty unhappy at night, but hopefully we'll be done with it soon. She played on a real playground with other kids for the first time this weekend, and she loved it.

Last night, PB's softball team had a scrimmage and we took the girls out to watch. Lily finally decided to play in the dirt - grass and sitting / standing on her own outside have really been freaking her out - so that was fun. She spotted PB on the pitcher's mound and jumped up and down at the fence, yelling to get his attention.

That's about it around these parts. No news on Lily's case yet. We're consulting attorneys to decide how / when to fight for her if it comes to that, but we haven't taken any action. As lucky as I am to have my girls for right now, that's always in the back of mind. I'm working on it.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Perspective is a good thing

Through Uncommon Misconception, I came across the story of this family, who is dealing with probably every parent's worst fear. I don't normally donate to internet causes (even on blogs that I really adore) but this one struck a chord with me.

Perspective