Tuesday, April 22, 2008

So, are you crazy yet?

I get this question (or some variant) a lot. People want to know what it's like going from 1 baby to 2 babies. We also get A LOT of strange looks when we are out and about with both babes. I'm sure the fact that Lily looks like she's 9 months old, instead of 13, doesn't help anything. I'm amazed at how often strangers will just flat out ask us how old they are, and respond with something like "Wow" or "Oh My God". It's funny.

So far, having two has not been bad at all. Of course, that's because Lucy can't move yet and pretty much stays wherever I put her. I'm sure if you check in again in about 6 months, I'll be singing a different tune.

The one exception of course, is the Mommy Guilt - that famed creature that I laughingly thought I had escaped. I mean, really, I do work full time and I do take weekends away from my kids with my husband. I don't co-sleep (at least not intentionally) and I don't breastfeed. All those areas that should make me feel guilty... well, really haven't bothered me all that much.

But now? With two kids to split my attention between? I feel badly whenever Lily has to wait because Lucy only cries when it's something essential - like eating - which means that her needs often take precedence in the moment.

I feel badly when Lucy sits in the swing or the bouncer (or on the couch... or on the bed... or even, gasp, the floor...) because she will stay where I put her and I have to stop Lily from climbing onto the table.

I feel like Lucy is missing all that two-on-one focused attention that Lily got it, and that Lily is probably even worse off since she knows what it was like to have her all to ourselves. Sometimes, I think I even miss Lily, miss just being able to rush home and grab her and play with her. How freaking bizarre is that?

In the end, it's a great issue to have, don't get me wrong. I'm certainly not complaining. It was just an unusual reaction that I didn't expect to have. So, of course, you get to hear all about it.


JUST A MOM said...

ok well maybe I am a bit diferent but I think ,,, ummm HOW DO OTHER MOTHERS DO IT? Why would they ask YOU this question,,, do they ask a birth giving mother the same question? Like some how the puking and getting fat some how prepares you for 2. ok enough of my little crankiness. have a great day!

rae said...

can i just say how much i'm enjoying listening to you talk about your two daughters.
this is just amazing to me. i'm so freaking happy for you. so i know i should be offering advice or pats on the back or SOMETHING....but i just read your posts and smile because you got your dream. and this girl couldn't be happier for you. you lapped me man!!! *wink*

Steph said...

Crazy is my neighbor who has twin boys that just turned one and a surprise baby girl due in July. not only crazy she'll have 3 kinds under 2, but because she was infertile. Failed IUI, failed IVF. She's 42 and thought the boys were a blessing, not so much expecting a girl to throw her pink hat into the mix!!!!

Try not to worry about the girls. Adjusting to not being the only child is difficult at any age, but I honestly think it will be positive in the end. For now, just being able to put one down to chase the other is great. Maybe invest in one of those baby backpacks or slings so you don't have to put her down at all?
I think you're doing a great job. Glad to hear chubby cheeks are blooming, even if it's happening at 2AM.