Friday, February 22, 2008

Can anyone say neurotic?

So I haven't been a foster parent for long, but all three times we've been waiting for placements (as we are now) I've been on edge, jumping every time the phone rings, checking caller ID for our county number. I've felt giddy, like a teenager waiting to be asked to the prom. Well, maybe not exactly.

Because, see, I didn't wait to be asked to the prom. Or, more accurately homecoming.

I think I wrote before that PB and I were high school sweethearts. Our first date was homecoming and I asked him. I went ahead and made the move, took control and did my best to effect my reality. And I gotta say, it's working out pretty well for me so far :-)

Somone commented recently about the fact that we are doing Clomid / Metformin at the same time that we are fostering one baby and have an open slot for another one. They basically thought we were nuts. Which we might be.

But really, it's just my attempt to control the situation. I like pushing the button and telling my social worker to go ahead and open our slot. Even though I hate the actual taking of the Clomid and it's side effects, I like to make the decision to take the Clomid. These actions make me feel like I am doing something... anything... to have an impact on what's happening.

I am an information gatherer, I learn about what's going on, I devise a strategy and then I fix the problem. There are only so many books and articles you can read about fostering and adoption. Only so many agencies you can contact for information and only so many friends or family members you can talk to.... again.... again... and again.

So you gotta do something, right?


Dream Mommy said...

I know the feeling. Still waiting desperately for another lil one.

Brooklyn said...

You sound like me waiting for the call. I get mad when someone calls me and it is a sales call or calling at weird hours for nothing worth bothering me for to.

JUST A MOM said...

YYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeP you gotta go SOMETHING and pray taht SOMETHIGN will work in your favor the way you want it to,, I so understand why you opened that slot or at least I understand why I opened that slot many times... good luck hang in there,

Steph said...

Isn't so much of life just waiting? Isn't it just tooooo annoying?!!
Good luck. Hope you get another great placement~

Kathryn said...

i can so relate to this. have taken clomid twice. (not taking it at the moment as i'm sort of scared of it - maybe you can convince me it's a good thing.) currently doing acupuncture and taking chinese herbs. am also a licensed foster mom and am in process to adopt from china. nothing (lasting) has happened yet, and it's been over 3 years since my first miscarriage and 2 years since we started our adoption; nearly a year since we started the fostering process. usually feel like nothing is in my control, but i'm all about being proactive. something's gotta happen, right?!

Runergirl said...

I am a control freak too!!! I don't think there is any harm in trying for a baby both ways.