Thursday, September 27, 2007

Warning: Major Vent Ahead

I think, after Lily, I may be done.

Done with fostering. Done with chasing after adoption. Just done.

Tonight I got a call from Lily's mom. She said that she wanted me to tell the transporter to bring the baby to the office instead of to her sister's house. I asked her if the cw knew and she said no, she hadn't been able to get ahold of him. I told her that I couldn't really change where the transporter was taking her but I'd see what was happening in the morning.

So I called her aunt, to see if she was still supervising the visit. She said the cw told her the visit was canceled because he hadn't been able to reach Lily's mom. So one of two things has happened. Either 1) he changed the visits to be back at the office AND lied to Lily's aunt about it AND didn't inform me of the change; or 2)he canceled the visit and the way I was supposed to find that out was by not having the transporter show up in the morning*.

Either way, I am royally pissed off.

I am also scared to death for Lily. Her aunt said that Lily's mom is no longer taking her calls, that she wants her to "stay out of her business." Keep in mind, her aunt is probably the only stable person in Lily's life who is biologically related to her and has shown any interest in seeing her regularly. Yes, that's right, Lily's "dad" has seen her once in 6 months and still hasn't had a DNA test.

Lily's aunt strongly suspects that her mom is using again and says there are other things going on with her boyfriend that the cw doesn't even know about. We talked for a while and she really seems to be at her wit's end.

What am I going to do if they send her back into some crazy situation? Seriously, how am I ever going to be able to live with that?

*Note, I have been trying to reach Lily's cw for the last week. I've left two messages AND sent an email and received no response.


Paige said...

I'm sorry girl!! *big hugs*

Rebecca said...

Give that caseworker hell for not keeping you in the loop! There is no excuse for having you wait around for the transport when the visit was cancelled. And copy everyone known to man. That's just insane.

And good for you for not committing to anything to the birthmother as far as changing the visits, etc. She can deal with her own caseworker if she's pissed off at her sister. Hopefully, her caseworker gets a good look at her at some point or demands a urine test.

On a less bitchy note, there's just no way they could consider returning her at this point if she's not on plan - I hope it's safe to feel that you will not be sending Lily back into a mess.

Then again, this is fostering and the county, so what do I know? It isn't like they follow the damn laws and regulations themselves!

Anonymous said...

Amanda, my guess is that Lily's aunt is going to grow very tired of Lily's mom and not want to be involved any further. If Lily's mom is using again, I cannot believe that Lily would be returned to her. Hang in there, thinking of you. - Barb

Cookie's Mom said...

I pray if she is using again, that there will be another drug test in her future (or dare I pray for an arrest - I think in this case, that might be good). Oh dear. I don't want Lily going anywhere that's not with you.

Susan said...

Deep breath, deep breath, deep breath... Hang in there, keep the communication open with the aunt (it may be your best source of information) and just do what you are told by the cw. If he forgets to call you, so be it.

We've had several cancelled visits that we found out about because no one showed up to transport. At one point the worker wrote in a report that I had refused to release the baby to a worker and that is why the baby didn't come to a visit when birth mom was waiting. She completely forgot to mention that SHE had cancelled the visit and not informed me or birth mom.