Friday, September 21, 2007

I am probably in trouble....

with Lily's cw.

I wasn't able to get ahold of him all week and I needed to have Lily brought to my house instead of the babysitter's this week after her visit. When the transporter arrived this morning, he still hadn't delivered my message and when I talked to her I found out she was ill and was going to call a sub to cover for her so I offered to just pick Lily up.

So far, so good. But when I got to Lily's aunt's to pick her up, I found out Mom didn't show up again. And she didn't show up at court earlier this week and neither did Lily's "dad".

Also, the last two times Mom did show up, it's because Lily's aunt got up at 5:30, went to pick her up, drug her out of bed and made her get dressed and brought her to her house.

Her Aunt - I'm going to call her Aunt A. from now on - said she doesn't now what it will take to wake M. up. She said they (cw, family members, etc) were going to have an intervention next week to try to make her realize that she's had to decide to either get Lily back or to let her go. Then she and her husband said they only had one kid on purpose and while they loved Lily, it was a huge decision that they would have to think about a lot. I told them if they did decide to adopt her it would be great if we could still visit. They said we could.

And then I blurted out that if we adopted her, they could see her whenever they want. They seemed surprised and happy to hear that.

That's what the cw won't like. I'm not trying to pressure them. I'm not. I feel like they should make an informed decision about adopting Lily. They are not making a choice between never seeing her again and adopting her. We honestly would let them visit with her, take her for weekends, whatever. We want Lily to know (and love) all of her family. We asked the cw to tell Aunt A that and apparently he didn't.

So he probably won't be happy that I did.


Robin said...

I don't think that was bad, it was honest.

Rebecca said...

We told the grandma of our girls that we would always send her pictures and if the court(the court will not let any family members have contact with our girls righ now) okay's it we would let her see our girls. This was all in front of my cw--who was fine with it all. Don't feel bad about what you said at all!

Susan said...

You didn't do anything wrong at all! In no way did you undermine reunification. That is the bottom line. Letting a family member know that the baby will have stability regardless of that person's decision can not possible be construed as impeding reunification.

Dream Mommy said...

Well, we got Bubbles an attorney who objected to the caseplan at the family team conference, so cw is not happy with us either, but I will do EVERYTHING in my power to protect her. Telling the aunt was a good thing and may help her not feel pressured to adopt Lily out of obligation(I think you may have accidentally used her name again). I also told them I cannot support reunification at this time, which is a big no-no, but I explained that I want to see them first, stay out of trouble/jail, clean there house, get a job so they can provide her a safe, stable home.

I then asked them how they planned on keeping her safe sending her home with all the issues and didn't get a good answer. I think that ticked them off too.

Fight for Lily with everything you've got. They may get mad, but they will still call you to take kids.

Hang in there. Sending prayers your way.

Don't sign any open adoption papers if you can avoid it.

JUST A MOM said...

OOOPPPSSSS then maybe he should be doind his job and having the transportation set up right huh you just may have helped little lily work her way to a good life. Keep hanging in there

Cookie's Mom said...

Good for YOU!! YESS! You had every right to speak as you wanted to Aunt A. What you said was honest and forthright, and needed. I'm so glad you're a fighter. I wish there were more like you. I know there are some out here in the blogosphere, but IRL, I see too many who will just turn away and sulk. Is it too much to hope for a voluntary termination from mom?

rae said...

i don't think you did anything wrong, friend.
i think about you often. life got pretty psycho, sorry i dropped off the face of the earth.
i adore you amanda.....