Friday, September 28, 2007

For those of you who were wondering....

It was option 2: he cancelled the visit and didn't notify me. Well he did, at about 8:20 this morning. The transporter normally comes at 8:30.

Now, today that was not a big deal because PB is on vacation anyway. But we take Lily to a babysitter every week day, and when I take her, I leave the house at 8:10. So today, I would have been 10 minutes late to work, assuming my babysitter would have availability when I told her she didn't need to (we use home care, not a center).

Thankfully my job is flexible enough that it wouldn't be too huge a deal. And pretty much the same thing goes for the babysitter. But he doesn't know that. Besides, foster parents are always an afterthought when stuff like this is decided.

I hate being an afterthought.

2 comments:

JUST A MOM said...

HAVE YA READ MY BOOK YET????? oh hang in there really PLEASE do NOT give up hope...

Anonymous said...

Just stumbled across your blog today...I feel your frustration with the whole process involving social services...I was a foster parent, now legal guardian. I admire you and all of your efforts. Jealous even. Right now...even without the VERY limited support that we had...I HATE being a foster parent. The guilt of this feeling takes a back seat to how guilty I would feel if I could back out. It's not an option...however...I'm beginning to wonder, with each passing day, is it really fair to allow my FD to stay when I don't feel that I can provide the love and patience that she deserves? Don't get me wrong...she has NO clue about these feelings and I've shared these feelings (to some extent) with my husband...I just continue to put my own sanity on the line. Are these feelings surfacing because of my stronger love for my biological daughter? I feel awful...I'm not sure what to do. Sorry for dumping...I haven't found a whole lot of foster parent support sites out there and I just feel that anyone that I do talk to doesn't seem to understand how I could possibly feel this way. I'm starting to feel like I am the only one out there like this...and here comes the guilt of feeling selfish...ugh.