Friday, August 31, 2007

Lily's mom

I met Lily's mom for the first time today.

It was good. She didn't know I was coming (thanks c/w!) but when she realized who I was, she gave me a huge hug and was very happy to see me. She was very appreciative of what we're doing and listened intently to everything I had to say about Lily.

The visits are now happening at her sister's place, which, ironically enough is about 7 miles from our house. Lily's Aunt has been fingerprinted and is doing most of the visit supervision, I think. They had already went out and bought all the baby food I told them she liked in my last note. They also asked me about *everything*, even down to what brand of bottles we were using, because they didn't want to "mess up our routine." They complimented the clothes she wears, which was good, because PB and I tend to dress Lily in what we call "hippie baby clothes" so I'm glad they liked them.

Meeting my foster kids' bio parents is always a mixed bag. On the one hand, I want to like them and have a positive relationship with them because there is a high likelihood that's where my kids will end up. On the other hand, it would make my job a lot easier if I didn't like them. Working with bio parents isn't easy, especially when you're foster-to-adopt. So not working with them because they are horrible people would be better for me. But not for them and definitely not for my babies.

Seeing Lily's mom as villain who didn't stop using even when she was pregnant is much simpler than seeing her as Lily's mom who loves her, calls her "pumkin" and misses her when she's gone.


Susan said...

Sorry, yet not too sorry. Isn't this a crazy thing we do? Sending you hugs, you are such a good mom (to Lily and her mom)

Anonymous said...


big hugs.


JUST A MOM said...

(((HUGGS))) BEEN THERE!!!! Hang in there and look way ahead adn say,, wow that was cool I DO that now... I am so sorry you have to do it though.

FosterMommy said...

Yeah, it's so complicated. Why do the parents have to be *human*, right? :)

Rebecca said...

I can't even imagine doing what you two are doing. What a mixed bag it is.