Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Still here, your resident buzzkill

We're still here. This last week has been pretty uneventful which is a good thing. Still haven't solved the pool debacle, but hopefully soon. Have a lead on a new agency - Lutheran Social Services has a branch in our state, though not our immediate vicinity. If anyone has any feedback on them, BTW, please share.

I also talked to Lily's mom, M. She wrote me a very nice note in return to the, "Hi, We're Amanda and PB, Lily's foster parents..." type note that I stuck in the bag before her visit last Friday. She left her cell phone number and asked me to call her if I could. I did and she sounds very nice. She has a real job. She hasn't missed a visit since she got out of jail. I do have to admit it was painful when I said, "Really, it's our pleasure, she's an adorable and beautiful little girl," and she said, "Thank you." Like a mom does when someone compliments her child.

Like I do when people tell me Lily's adorable. Which she *totally* is.

So, my guess is that reunification is a strong possibility. Which is good - if M. can really get (and stay) clean for her little girl, then that's where she belongs. Even though it feels just fine to let her belong here.

Lily is smiling and talking up a storm now. She's also losing all her hair. And she has an ear infection, which she's just getting over so she's not the happiest baby in the world. In fact, as much as I love her (and I do love, love, love her) she is kind of a high maintenance baby.

This weekend we are traveling to attend the 1st birthday of PB's goddaughter. I know I'm an ass but I am so not looking forward to it. L is the little girl and her dad (P) is PB's oldest friend - they've literally known each other since daycare. I love them both and L's mom, too, but I remember them calling to tell us they were pregnant, two full years after we started trying. And I remember PB saying, "We've got to be next, babe, our kids will grow up together."

Or something like that. Sorry to whine, but I am in wallowing mode right now and I can't seem to snap myself out of it. I'll be back when I'm capable of being positive, or at least mildly amusing.


R. said...

Well, you are welcome to just stay with us when you drop off the dog...

Seriously, I have nothing to say other than if you feel like talking/venting/drinking, you are welcome to do so anytime w/us. And you don't even have to fake it.

FosterMommy said...

It's your blog; you can whine if you want to!
I'm glad, at least, that Lily would be going back to a loving home that seems safe enough.

R. said...

I'm glad that it appears Lily will not be going back until it is clear that it is a loving, safe home. Mom is saying all the right things, I hope her actions prove her right.

I don't know if waiting is better or worse for you, though.

Why do I have "It's my party and I'll whine if I want to" running through my head?

Jody said...

I'm new to your blog. Can't even remember how I found it for sure but I will be reading it faithfully from now on......Anyways..

You are not alone with your feelings on birthday parties. I HATE going to Baby Showers/Birthday Parties etc for little ones. If there is any way to avoid it, I do. I just send a gift. It's just so hard to not get upset at these things and wonder if it will EVER be my turn.

IF Lily's mom can keep it together and provide a safe home, I'm happy for her. I know it's hard waiting and wondering, I've been there.

Anonymous said...

I completely sympathize with the dread of the birthday parties (and baby showers). Whine all you want. I will probably join you.

Leslie said...

I've been reading this since the first post and there are a couple of things I should have said before.

First, you have the right to whine. Of course you get angry - you're only human. And, it amazes me that you do it on the blog, so that you can be nice to the people who are making your life harder (e.g., birthmom, P, etc).

Second, I am constantly amazed by your honesty. It is an incredible gift to share your joys and pain, so thank you for starting this and sharing yourself with us.

And, I think you're great, even when you're feeling like a buzzkill. :-)

Dream Mommy said...

Wow, a job. I wonder how long that will last! I'm still not thinking she's going home. Princess' mom was nice, so was Smileys, but neither can take care of their kids.

JUST A MOM said...

well are we shocked taht I am late?? no me neither. It is so hard to do that letter and talk with birth mom .. Han gin there adn I am sure something will get better.

Cookie's Mom said...

I'm so amazed that you managed to talk to Lily's birth mom - that is awesomely hard to do. Gosh, the twisted emotions of not wanting to take a child away from a mother who can and will recover and yet loving it as your own. It is such an important job we do - yet gut-wrenching. I hope you have firm answers on Lily's future very soon.

R. said...

Lily's not high maintainance - she just likes what she likes! ;-)

Robin said...

Wallow away! I'm right there with you!