Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Panic (albeit brief!)

So, on Monday evening the Adoption agency we're working with in Chicago called. They hadn't heard from K., despite repeated calls. This was (they said) very unlike her. Did I know anything about it?

Um... no. I don't. But thanks for freaking me out. Awesome.

I wasn't terribly upset because when I spoke with K. late last week, she told me she was out of cell phone minutes. BUT. She also told me that they were taking care of it and she would give me a call that weekend. And I was already thinking, "Hmmm. Maybe I should call her." Then the agency calls and, trying to be very nonchalant, totally freaked me the hell out.

So now I'm all nervous - wondering if she's changed her mind. I decide to call her and check in and can't get her and I just leave a message.

At this point, I begin to realize how excited I have been about this whole thing, even though I've been desperately trying not to get my hopes up. And I convince myself that it's not going to happen and that I shouldn't have ever allowed myself to hope it would. And then I try to convince myself that it's fine, that if she decided to parent, that's great. Which it really would be (honest!) even if we were disappointed because we don't get to parent.

And then, yesterday, I received a message from K. Everything is fine! There was a bit of a miscommunication - the baby isn't full term yet, but when he is full term, they expect him to be 9lbs. So we aren't quite to the countdown yet. She said she is feeling good and they are looking forward to seeing us again very soon. She even mentioned that she was calling the agency because they had left her several messages.

This is such a surreal experience.

3 comments:

R. said...

Dammit - you freaked me out for a minute!

I meant to email yesterday to see if there was any update and didn't get quite there and then I see this...

But all's well that appears to have ended well (i.e., she answered the phone or called you)...

Will continue to keep fingers crossed that all will continue to go well and right for all involved!

Anonymous said...

Amanda,

Hope this all works out and works out quickly for you!

r.'s BFF Barb

rae said...

sheesh my heart was just pounding. what are you doing to me girl? *grin*
this is getting really exciting! you are almost there! this is really happening! i can't wait to buy BOY clothes for you this time!
*grin* *grin*
you be the nervous one, i'll be the excited one and you can do the same for me sista!
hugs
rae