So, just heard from Lily’s caseworker – he met with mom yesterday. She was apparently very strung out and is still using (by her own admission). He said he “knows she’s got two years to get her act together” but that he’s going to push her to get into treatment before then. He said she looks terrible, and he is not at all optimistic about her
getting staying clean.
And in the same breath he said she will be starting visits on Thursday.
I know that this is required by law. I know that she is Lily’s mom. I know that she deserves a chance to get her life back together and get her kid back.
But I also know Lily is tiny, and she went through a lot of pain and withdrawal because her mom couldn’t manage to get clean for her while she was carrying her. I watched her in the hospital as they were weaning her down. I stayed up with her last week because she couldn’t sleep.
I guess the bottom line is that I know Lily has already been through a lot and I know that personally, I would do anything in my power to keep her from getting hurt again. I wonder if her biomom feels the same way? I wonder if it’s fair for a child to be a reason to get clean? I wonder who the system is really out to help, the kids or the parents?
I know I will get slammed for this. I know this is what I signed up for. But it’s still hard to deal with while it’s happening.