Thursday, April 05, 2007

Deja Vu

I've internet christened her Lily. We've been visiting her for two days now. She seems to be doing very well. She is perfectly adorable - tiny, tiny with a lot of dark hair. She is doing so well for a baby born in her circumstances. The nurses tell me she is much calmer than most drug exposed babies and that she is easier to soothe. In addition, and much to PB's delight, she seems to be sleeping in 5 hours stretches. Of course, who knows what will happen when they wean her fully off the methadone?

Speaking of, last night they told us it would be a week before she would be discharged. But they bumped her dosage down again and they think she might be out this weekend. Apparently, she's at .1ml twice per day and she needs to be at .1ml once per day. We'll see what happens.

But, man, is this a weird experience!!! I don't live in a particularly small city. There are at least 6 hospitals in our county's service area. But Lily was born in the same hospital as Baby Bear. To top it off, when we saw her the first night, she was in the exact same spot that he was. And again, this is not a particularly small hospital.

It was eerie.

I also got to see my favorite nurse who took care of Baby Bear. She instantly broke into a huge grin and gave me a big hug. I was surprised by how hard it hit me when I told her he went home. I promised to bring her a picture of him when we visit tomorrow.

The two situations are not really parallel, though. Baby Bear was born strong and healthy, maybe even overterm, and had no prenatal drug exposure. Lily is pretty small (though she was nearly full term - 38 weeks) and was born addicted. Baby Bear's mom was a teenager and Lily's mom is an adult. Baby Bear was instantly taken into court custody as he was abandoned, and with Lily, I'm really not sure at all what's going on.

Lily's mom made an adoptive plan with a local agency. In fact, there are discharge orders for that agency in her file. The best I can make out is that Lily's mom was making an adoptive plan but was pressured by her family to abandon it at the last minute. I don't have any idea how things will progress from here, and I haven't really been able to contact Lily's caseworker - when I tried to call her today, her voice mail said that she will be out until the 24th. In fact, it could be that we will only have her until the agency can claim her and pass her along to another family.

Oddly enough, I feel OK with that. I mean, I will take great care of her and I'm sure once she's home I will be singing a different tune, but I'm feeling much more up to the task of fostering this time around. I feel like I'm going into it without blinders.

Or at least with much smaller ones :-)


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Rae said...

amanda, lily sounds adorable. i know you must be so excited and i'm excited for you! i can't wait until you get to bring her home!!!
fx that the methadone weaning goes well and you can have her for easter!

Mrs. D. said...

Hi Amanda...
After 4+ years of infertility my husband and I are getting in line for the foster / adopt rollercoaster... I am so scared...

I have kept an infertility blog for several years and it has helped me so much to have the comfort and support of other women going through the same thing... which is why I am so happy to find your blog.. and the list of "foster blogs". I am definatly going to begin my internet research with cooresponding with you and the other foster bloggers.

I hope you will stop by and visit... I have not written about our baby steps in to foster-dom... yet. It just seems so fresh and new and scary... but I am sure I will as the process starts.

Thanks for blogging!!!

Dream Mommy said...

Congrats on the new baby girl! I hope she gets to come home soon.

Fostermama said...

Congrats! My little one just finished weaning off of methadone. If you have any questions stop by sometime!

Tamara said...

Wowzers! I can't wait to hear about you bringing her home - how exciting - congratualtions on getting the "right" call!