Thursday, March 01, 2007

Ummm.... Yeah.

OK. So I'm freaking out a little right now. S. (ex-sister-in-law's sister) wants to meet us. On Sunday.


That about sums it up. I am so freaking nervous. I've never written a dear birthmom (or firstmom) letter. I don't know how to talk to her. And when I get nervous, I talk. I talk way. too. much. Plus, I can be kind of of loud and overbearing. And I might mess it up.

Ahhaaaahhh.. forget it. See above.

Words of wisdom, anyone? Or just words?


Anthony the Loser said...


Renee, said...

oh wow oh wow oh wow...ok so no words of wisdom, you did leave the option of just words, so, here I am! Wow Amanda, I am so nervous with you!!!! Im not helping am I? Oh how exciting and scary and exciting and um SCARY! LOL. You'll do fine, I know you will. Your beautiful and I know you'll do great. Ill be thinking of you!

CA Momma said...

I don't have any advice to give but am quite excited for you. You'll do fine.

TeamWinks said...

Holy wow! Just take a couple of deep breaths, and let her know you are just as nervous as she is! Just try to laugh a little. I'm sure it will all work out. :-) Keep us updated!

Dawn said...

You know how when you're dating and people say, "Just be yourself" well, it's the same thing. Just be yourself. :)

Anonymous said...

Talk to her like you'd talk to anyone else. She's a human being. With real emotions. Real fears. And real life experiences. Just like you. Treat her as how you would wish to be treated in the same situation. Don't talk down to her. Don't talk up to her. Talk TO her.

(Oh, and don't refer to her as a birth mother if she hasn't signed the TPR. Respect her motherhood and she'll respect you! Best of luck!)

R. said...

and let her talk to you... people often reveal much about themselves, and can work through bothersome issues, as they talk.

Being yourself is all you can do...and you do that well!

Good luck!

FosterMommy said...

Wow, that's pretty exciting. And it's so awesome for her that she has the option of deciding to place her baby with a family she's connected to, even remotely.

Definitely make an effort to listen more than you talk. Maybe pinch yourself to remind you not to babble on. Let there be silences.
Let this be about her, ask her what she wants to know about you and then try to just answer her question. Bring up open adoption and ask her what amount of contact she'd like with her child, if she decides on adoption.

Drink some calming tea, take deep breaths and realize that you're not going to make or break her decision. It's a personal decision for her. If she decides to make an adoption plan, it does seem likely that she'd pick you, though. :)

Dream Mommy said...

Wow! I'm not sure what advice to give, but the others had some great advice.

Good luck.