Wednesday, March 14, 2007

A confession

I'm jealous. Of PB, my husband.

See, the thing is he is the most laid back man I've ever met. Which is good because he balances out my tendency to be ridiculously high strung and borderline crazy less laid back.

But I am so envious of his ability to not let all of this drama get to him. Or at least it gets to him rarely. He is almost always on an even keel. And before you even say it, it's not that he's really feeling tons of stuff and doesn't talk about it. He is really and truly able to let things go and just be.

He doesn't obsess about when our next placement call will come. Or what happened to the placements we turned down. Or what S. is thinking and whether we will be parenting her daughter later this summer*. Or whether we will ever be parents. Or whether we should just chuck the whole thing and start travelling... a lot.

He is able to make plans, buy concert tickets, go out with his friends, join softball leagues, schedule doctor's appointments, plan to work overtime, all without wondering if we'll have to change things because there will be a baby in the house.

He can look at car listings and try to pick what he wants (within reason), without wondering if we should get something cheaper to help pay for attorney fees. He can tell his mom that we're fine, that we're just waiting, that eventually it will all work out.

He doesn't let our infertility and our status as foster parents impact every fucking decision he makes. And I am so jealous of that.

*I am happy to report that he recently started suggesting Ma names. Which made me happy.


Angel said...

I feel your pain on this one. During our first adoption my hubby was calm as can be. I was a wreck the whole year. It made me nuts!!! Angel

MommyNay said...

right there with you!

Robin said...

I sometimes think that they just don't understand the urgency.

R. said...

I can just see this, too. Only because I'm a obsessive freak, and Mark is calm (although we aren't adopting or fostering, of course).

Anyway, thinking about it makes me laugh. He probably says such things as, "no use worrying about what isn't here yet" or other such stuff.

Yondalla said...

My hubby is the same.

Amanda said...

r. -

you might be fostering... LOL.