Wednesday, January 31, 2007

What to do now?

Currently, there is a gaping, BeBe sized hole in our life. I have to admit a few days of rest and relaxation sound really nice right now. But I also have to admit that I'm proud of what we did for BeBe. We gave her a place to rest when her mom couldn't take care of her and we gave her stability and tons of love. As did both of our families.

Of course, we learned a lot from her too. We learned about patience and consistency and how to do hair :-) I also learned that even when you're really happy for the kid and the mom, it's still hard to actually drop them off. I surprised myself by crying last night, but not until we were walking away from the apartment. Part of it was because I hate that people have to live in the kinds of "neighborhoods" where BeBe is growing up. Leaving her there = the suck.

PB has, surprisingly, swung into action mode. He wants to pick out colors for the living room. And shop for a new (to us) car. And knock a hole in our dining room to build a bar. I say surprisingly only because I'm usually the one to make big plans and I badger him to actually carry them out. It's refreshing.

Right now, we're thinking we will stick more firmly to our original intention - to foster only infants until we get to adopt at least one child and to branch out to different ages from there. As for private adoption, I think we might register with a few agencies and specify no birthmother expenses so that if the perfect situation comes along we can jump on it. Not that I've actually done that yet. As silly as it sounds I'm wary of all the evaluation again, all those hoops.

So here's hoping we find something through the public system, and that if we don't we at least have some interesting adventures along the way. And as always, all of this is subject to change at any minute, without notice.


Rebecca said...

So, when are you going to knock out the hole for the bar? Want some help, PB?


Dream Mommy said...

I'm sorry for you losses of Bebe and Baby bear. I know it's "what we signed up for" but it's still not easy. You're loving and missing them means your a good mommy and gave everything to them.

TeamWinks said...

Wow, those are ambitious plans!

I will keep my fingers crossed that you find a little one who's meant to be yours.